At The Willows, we do not use the language of behaviour management in the traditional sense. We do not manage behaviour — we support the young person behind it.

The young people who come to The Willows have often experienced significant adversity, trauma, or repeated experiences of failure and rejection in more formal settings. Behaviour that might be labelled as challenging, defiant, or disruptive is almost always a form of communication — an expression of unmet need, fear, overwhelm, or a nervous system that has learned to protect itself through fight, flight, or freeze.

Our approach is rooted in the six Nurture Principles and is informed by attachment theory, trauma-informed practice, and an understanding of the developing brain. We believe that young people do well when they can — and that when they cannot, our role is to understand why and to help them feel safe enough to try again.

De-escalation is always our first and preferred response. Physical intervention is never used at The Willows except in the most exceptional circumstances where there is an immediate risk to life (see Section 8).

This policy is built on the following principles:

• Relationships first. A consistent, warm, and predictable relationship with a trusted adult is the most powerful tool we have. Everything else flows from that.
• Behaviour is communication. We look for the need beneath the behaviour, not just the behaviour itself.
• Safety before learning. A young person who does not feel safe cannot learn, connect, or regulate. Creating felt safety is always the priority.
• Co-regulation before self-regulation. Young people learn to regulate their emotions through the experience of being regulated alongside a calm, attuned adult. We model the state we want to help them reach.
• No shame, no blame. Difficult moments are not met with punishment, humiliation, or withdrawal of relationship. They are met with curiosity and compassion.
• Repair matters. After a difficult moment, we always come back. Reconnection and repair are as important as the moment itself.

The most effective behaviour support happens before a difficult moment arises. At The Willows, we invest heavily in prevention through:

• Knowing the young person well. We gather detailed information at referral about a young person's history, triggers, communication style, and what helps them feel safe. This informs every session.
• Predictable routines. Sessions follow a consistent structure so that young people know what to expect. Predictability reduces anxiety.
• Sensory and environmental awareness. The outdoor environment is naturally regulating for many young people. We are attentive to sensory factors — noise, temperature, crowding, unexpected changes — that may increase dysregulation.
• Pacing and choice. Sessions are paced to the young person's window of tolerance. We offer choice wherever possible, because choice restores a sense of agency and control.
• Reading the signs early. We pay close attention to early signs of rising anxiety or dysregulation — changes in body language, tone, engagement, or energy — and respond before a situation escalates.

Dysregulation exists on a spectrum. Understanding where a young person is on that spectrum at any given moment allows us to respond appropriately. We broadly recognise three states:

• Regulated (green): The young person is calm, engaged, and able to connect and learn. This is the state we are always working towards and working to maintain.
• Heightened (amber): The young person is showing signs of rising anxiety, agitation, or withdrawal. They may be less responsive, more reactive, or beginning to disengage. This is the moment for gentle, proactive support — before the situation escalates.
• Dysregulated (red): The young person is in a state of significant emotional overwhelm. They may be unable to communicate, process instructions, or respond to reason. The priority at this point is safety and co-regulation — not consequences, explanations, or problem-solving.

We do not attempt to reason with, lecture, or apply consequences to a young person who is dysregulated. The brain in crisis cannot access the parts needed for reflection or learning. We wait, we stay calm, and we stay present.

De-escalation is a set of skills, not a script. The right approach will depend on the young person, the situation, and what we know about what helps them. The following strategies form the core of our de-escalation toolkit:

Relational strategies:

• Remaining calm, grounded, and regulated ourselves. Our nervous system communicates directly with the young person's — a calm adult is the most powerful co-regulating tool available.
• Using a quiet, warm, and unhurried tone of voice. Lowering volume rather than raising it.
• Reducing demands and expectations in the moment. This is not rewarding behaviour — it is meeting a need.
• Offering proximity or distance according to what the young person needs. Some young people are soothed by closeness; others need space.
• Using the young person's name gently and sparingly.
• Acknowledging feelings without judgement: "I can see you're finding this really hard right now."

Environmental strategies:

• Moving to a quieter, less stimulating area of the site if possible.
• Offering a change of activity or a natural break.
• Using the animals as a regulating resource — the presence of a calm horse or a gentle interaction with a smaller animal can be profoundly settling for many young people.
• Allowing time in nature — walking, sitting outside, or simply being in the open air — as a regulating activity.

Practical strategies:

• Offering a simple, practical task that provides a sense of purpose and control — filling a water bucket, sweeping the yard, collecting eggs.
• Offering a drink of water or a snack where appropriate.
• Using minimal language. In a heightened state, too many words increase overwhelm. Short, simple, and warm is more effective than lengthy explanation.
• Avoiding direct eye contact if the young person finds it threatening or overwhelming.
• Not blocking exits or cornering the young person. Always ensure they have a clear route away if they need it.

Some young people who attend The Willows may be identified at referral as presenting a flight risk — that is, they may attempt to leave the site without permission when distressed. This information is gathered as part of the referral process and informs the individual risk assessment for each young person.

Where a young person is identified as a flight risk, the following applies:

• A specific plan for managing this risk will be agreed with the parent, carer, and referring school before sessions begin, and documented in the young person's individual risk assessment.
• Sessions will be structured and positioned to minimise the opportunity and likelihood of the young person leaving the site.
• If a young person does leave the site without permission, Nicola will contact the parent or carer and referring school immediately, and will follow the agreed missing young person protocol.
• If the young person cannot be located within a short time, or if there is an immediate concern for their safety, the police will be contacted.
• The incident will be recorded in the accident log and a full written report provided to the parent, carer, and referring school.

How we respond after a difficult moment is as important as how we respond during it. At The Willows, we always prioritise repair.

• Once the young person is calm and regulated, we reconnect — warmly and without dwelling on what happened.
• We do not use withdrawal of relationship, the silent treatment, or prolonged consequences as a response to dysregulation.
• Where it is appropriate and the young person is ready, we may gently explore what happened together — not to apportion blame, but to understand and to build the young person's own awareness of their triggers and needs.
• We use a Plan · Do · Review approach in session monitoring to reflect on what worked, what was difficult, and what we will try differently next time.
• Significant incidents are recorded in the session monitoring form and, where appropriate, shared with the referring school or local authority as part of the young person's wider support.

We also reflect on our own practice. After a difficult session, Nicola will consider whether there is anything in the environment, the session plan, or her own approach that could be adjusted to better support the young person.

The Willows does not use physical restraint or physical intervention as a behaviour management strategy under any circumstances.

The only exception to this is where a young person is in immediate danger of serious harm to themselves or others, and all other de-escalation strategies have been exhausted. In this situation, the minimum physical intervention necessary to prevent serious injury may be used — for example, guiding a young person away from a hazard. Any such intervention must be:

• The absolute minimum necessary to prevent serious harm.
• Used only when all other options have been exhausted.
• Recorded in full in the accident log on the same day.
• Reported to the parent or carer and referring school immediately.
• Reviewed by Nicola Bevan to consider whether any changes to the young person's risk assessment or session plan are needed.

Nicola Bevan does not currently hold a formal physical intervention qualification (such as Team Teach or MAPA). If a young person's needs are such that physical intervention is a foreseeable requirement, this will be discussed with the referring school or local authority before the placement begins, and appropriate training will be sought.

Parents, carers, and referring schools are partners in supporting each young person. The Willows will:

• Share relevant information about a young person's behaviour and emotional wellbeing as part of regular session updates.
• Notify parents, carers, and referring schools of any significant behavioural incident on the day it occurs.
• Seek the views of parents, carers, and the young person themselves when reviewing and updating the individual risk assessment or behaviour support plan.
• Work collaboratively with other professionals involved in the young person's care — including CAMHS, educational psychologists, social workers, and school staff — where this is in the young person's best interests and consent has been given.

In very rare circumstances, it may become necessary to consider whether The Willows is the right placement for a particular young person — for example, if their needs have changed significantly, if the risk to themselves, other young people, staff, or animals cannot be safely managed, or if the placement is not achieving its intended outcomes.

Any decision to end a placement will always be made in consultation with the parent, carer, and referring school, with as much notice as possible, and with a focus on ensuring continuity of support for the young person. It will never be made as a punitive response to a single incident.

This policy will be reviewed annually, or sooner following any significant behavioural incident, a change in the young people attending sessions, or a change in relevant legislation or guidance. The policy owner is Nicola Bevan.